the day you killed your daughter!
Aspirations are those little parasites that feed on your brain, making you lose your sanity slowly. They grow your insecurities towards failures, challenges and mistakes. I grew up as a self-surviving, self-driven person. With each single day, grew my distances from people, primarily my family and friends. I felt never been understood or encouraged. I always felt a void inside me, craving for that little care I missed in my life. I wanted to be emotionally sheltered and protected. I wanted a sense of value, for my thoughts, a meaning to my plans and an acceptance of my dreams. I was a kid then and realised that was my reality.
As time and years passed on, the void grew into independence, the cravings into self sustenance. I grew into a rebel, doing what I liked and following what I wished. I started to defy authority, I became a threat.
Disobedience is an interesting quality. In our culture, if you violate the autocratic male chauvinism, you are incarnated as a 'witch'. People suspect you being voodooed, just because you dont fall in line with the customary beliefs of such a blinded society. Everyone starts to despise you. You are called a social misfit, and treated as a scum.
'Society', the word in itself is in a dilemma. What does it mean in today,s times?! Its about a congregation of like-minded, sick people, who you can never appease no matter what. These people breed hatred, they breed lust and greed, in the name of religion, stature; differences are created, to kill, to torture and manipulate individuals. Societies are often judgemental. They lurk you as soon as you decide to take a reasonable stand. If you choose to threaten their core existence, they decide to make you extinct by a connundrum of mishaps.
In these tricky times, when these congregations of cheapsters attack you, its your family that should come to your rescue. For families, in history, have been thought to stay strong in times of need.
Families are smaller institutions in society, that expose you to the public opinion locally. They ridicule you as much as a society would to give you a first hand experience of irrationality. Families are small poisonous insects that suck your blood, make you weak when time comes and drain even the last bit of life from your body. Families are paradoxical in the current context. Very rare are those individuals whose families are reasonable and understanding. Very unique are their fates, who are supported by the people who love them.
I was never lucky that way. My family turned out to be like the former. They ensured I lost my sanity and soul. They siphoned all the life out of me like a parasite killing the host,s body slowly. I was always a needy kid, someone who wanted to be told, to be loved and accepted. I was always pushed aside by the ones I trusted.
There then arrived a day when my family opened up about their hypocrisy. The mother abandoned her only girl child in a whip of a second. The father never accepted her dreams, or goals as his pride. The brother asked her to stop living and inflict pain. The aunt tried every way to manipulate and somewhere on the surface of this earth, a heart broke into countless pieces. The pieces that can never be assembled, the pieces that dont want to assemble anymore!
"It was today my mother and father, you killed your daughter!"......
Tanzila
