Fading Away

Fading away

Wounded heart,
Battling mind,
Torn soul,
Passion withdrawn.
Skin tempered,
Hollow cube,
Jaws broken,
Sorrows let lose,
Immense remorse,
Of an ending life
Of a dying hero
Of a matryr,
A woman of pride,
A young bird,
With bigger dreams,
Had a plan for life..
Had a meaning to find,
This world to change,
In kin and kind!

She is fading away,
She has faded away!

Tanzila

Return

Return

I want to return to the same old life when,
the only expectation was to wait for Mum,s goodies for me.
the only target was to complete my homework at the end of each day.
the only freedom was to meet friends for an hour after school.
the only sadness was to score less marks.
the only happiness was to win a trophy.
the only worry was less time for exams.
the only reason was to be a part of my family.
the only reward was my Dad,s encouragement.
the only satisfaction was my Mum,s happiness.
the only bond was with my brother.
the only playmate was my pet dog.
the only choice was my parents' will.
the lonely 'being' was a concept in books.

Now, here i am,
Where only hope is to revive my childhood.
And return to my mother,s lap, where she made me sing all those rhymes.

And be by my father,s side and make him believe i am fine on my own,
Knowing i am not!

The only pleasure is my brother,s calls, telling me to stay strong!

I want to return to my childhood and my mum!

Tanzila

They say..

They say..

They say i dont like sugar,
Maybe i prefer salt!

They say i repel crowd,
Maybe i dont like people!

They say i am not presentable,
Maybe i dont like dressing up!

They say I talk less,
Maybe i think more!

They say i hide from the sun,
Maybe i prefer clouds!

They say i dont like spring,
Maybe i prefer autumn!

They say I am closed,
Maybe I am depressed!

They say I am arrogant,
Maybe I am reserved!

They said, they say and they always would,
Maybe I just shouldnt listen!

Tanzila

Abysmal Hollow

Abysmal hollow
In my heart,
Deep down, inside,
My tattered soul..

The relentless darkness,
Of my days,
The tearful rain
of my nights,
The thundering skies,
Exploding lights,
Heartless, lifeless,
Helpless Divine.

I am a punctured boat,
sinking deeper each day,
Drowning slowly,
In pain..
I am suffocated by virtue Of my existence..
I suffer with my troubled mind..
I suffer for my broken heart!!

Tanzila

homicide

homicide

your single 

barbaric blow,

with your spite,

delusion and hatred,

cut open my body..

my heart popped out..

torn in the middle,

every inch of it bloodied.

every fraction lifeless now!

not for a second,

did you consider,

to maybe give me your ear or

give me my chance..

you chose to be my killer,

and i lay here, 

murdered 

and

dead!

Tanzila

Soulmate

Soulmate

my love,

when you left this time,

you left a few things behind..

you left your charm,

you left your smile,

you left your unparalleled love,

commitment and joy..

you left for me,

a sense of belonging,

a sense that i am owned by you,

this emotion which i earnestly nurture,

this feeling is strong, 

this bond for life..

i always wondered what soulmates are,

i realised my entire past was a delusion,

i realise soulmates exist 

and you are mine! 

Tanzila

Today and Tomorrow

Today and Tomorrow

Today, 

I feel threatened!

my thoughts suppressed,

my expression quietened,

my existence endangered,

my body raped,

my soul hurt,

my ego bullied,

my respect compromised,

my confidence belittled,

my pride ignored,

my love rebuked,

my care snubbed….

This was today!

Tomorrow,

I shine brighter,

because I move on!

I refuse to be the victim,

I refuse to be the ‘sufferer’

I refuse to be a ghost,

I refuse to play lost!

I question,

I reason,

I imagine,

I dream,

I plan,

I think,

I comprehend,

I articulate,

I express,

to live,

for my identity!

Tanzila

Fallen

We shared love,

we had laughter,

we made moments

into memories..

Like all others,

we took its course,

we took it slow,

we took it ahead 

and beyond..

Now, its..

Disconnected, stranded,

wounded, betrayed…

you, me and us..

And in all this,

I feel fallen,

yet again..

A strong warrior I was,

a successor, a leader,

in form and kind.

A soul of content

and poise..

something inside me,

is dying..

Now, I am,

a part of the brown soil….

This soil,

has accepted me,

absorbed me,

to ease this pain,

to relieve my suffering…

Tanzila

Torn

TORN

Torn,

like the pages of an old book,

which sat on your shelf..

Torn,

like those used clothes,

in your closet..

Torn,

like your dreams,

shed by this practical life.

Torn,

like a fabric,

of disbelief, mistrust and revenge.

Torn,

with a corroded body,

weak mind and no soul..

Tanzila

The Drift

The Drift

And my soul drifted tonight,
Leaving behind the diamonds to tease,
It drifted with a sudden blow,
Shocked, as it was,
With the day's moments,
Helpless incidents,
less fortunate coincidence...

I am feeling this slow drift..
It kills me little,
It kills me more,
Each time a little more...

The wind from the east,
blew away the soul,
Like the dried winter leaves,
From their moist muddy soil..
Attached they were,
And the wind was harsh,
Ruthless to pay heed to their soil,
roots or life...

The drifts are amazing,
They poison me slowly,
As they are,
Slow, steady and calm..
They pull me away,
From my roots,
They pull me away,
by my branches...

I feel this drift now,
And I wait for my soul,
Across the shore...

Tanzila

Departure

You stood there..stoned,

I moved away

slowly,

releasing you from my grip

my embrace..

I had to, so I did..

In a few days,

we connected so much,

you sang to my heart,

spoke to my mind.

Groomed my love

and let my soul free..

Time passed,

so did moments,

best ones of life until now.

We made memories,

we wrote stories,

We experienced,

experiences to be cherished.

I recall each day,

I remember every promise,

I repeat each vow..

I parted ways to meet again.

We departed, to live,

grow and mature

together..

We departed today,

to nurture this dream 

together …!!

Tanzila