I live a lie

I live a lie 
each passing day
this glitter, glamour
show and fame.

I live a lie 
every moment in time 
in truth i seek
in stories i find

i live a lie 
in harrowing acts
by self, through people
a daily test

i live lies
many big fat ones
pretending compassion
evading peace

I am you
each one of us
living each day

lying to our conscience……..

My Spartan

My Spartan

Teary-eyed I express,

I write this my dear Spartan,

I have witnessed your strength,

I have seen your power 

and full glory.

Today warned me,

of a slow regression,

It echoed mysteries,

of the unknown future.

I always saw you,

 as my warrior,

My Emperor,

greatness personified.

You gifted me this life, 

you made me a fighter,

you taught me to respect

 and value.

Your single moment 

of loss and grief,

Has shuddered my soul 

today, this day.

I fear the future, 

I fear the times,

I fear this helplessness 

Hopelessness of mine,

I fear God’s will, 

I fear my ill fate,

I fear uncertainty, 

I fear pain

I fear my loneliness.

I fear my defeat

by luck and time.

Stay with me,

In person and mind,

Stay with me in my heart,

Stay with me in my soul,

Stay in my existence.

Stay, you are meant to be there,

Here, with me, always.

Never betray me, 

I cannot taste betrayal,

yet again.

Tanzila

I know what it feels like....

I know what it feels like when one is alone, sick and orphaned!!
I know what it feels like when we start to blame others' for someone else's hard luck,
I know what it feels like when misunderstandings only stay because we want them to,
I know what it feels like to be silent, to get silence and to live with silence each day,
I know what it feels like when you cannot depart from a person whose abandoned you,
I know what it feels like when that person returns to you again,
I know what it feels like when you never know the shattered hearts' are irreparable..
I know what it feels like when you know the shattered hearts' are irreparable,
I know it feels how important moments are,
But we often fail to look at the bigger picture........!!!

Noise in the Shadows

Noise in the Shadows

Silence of existence,

encounter of time,

spirit of soul,

confusion of mind.

Everything is a shadow,

its vagueness pronounced,

procured by emotions,

moments and mind.

Screaming shadows,

creeping out,

for a cause,

to breed hatred.

Their absence,

was a misconception,

their näivety,

a lie.

They are within us,

they stay deep inside,

they grow as we age,

they widen as we weaken,

they propagate as we are,

vulnerable with time,

they make us victims,

evading our minds,

they make us greedy,

they make us unkind…

These shadows are noisy,

they shout beyond words,

beyond goodwill,

or maybe beyond self..!!

Tanzila

Darkness

Darkness

the quiet darkness,
its prelude to peace,
the final answer,
questions to please,
merciless gestures,
of life and race,
secret emotions,
party and taste..
unwanted needs,
cure and sight,
hunger for love,
waiting to rest..

the final moment,
of merging in,
with calm n
silent whispers,
of creatures unworldly,
dissolved and secret..
is the final option,
is the only reason,
we stay here in fancy,
i return to simplicity,
as i arrived,
i return to darkness.......!!!!

Tanzila

My Last Embrace

My Last Embrace

And I left again, 
This time,
Unlike others, 
When this heart was easy,
And mind clear..

And I left,
To implore, to explore,
And create,
New beginnings,
newer thoughts
And meanings..

And I left,
To merge self,
To a world, different
Than my own,
Challenging and challenged..

And before I left,
I held you in my embrace,
I embraced your body
And you, my soul,
I clinged onto you,
So hard,
For that moment,
I realised
my heart wanted to stay,
Holding you tight
And not letting go..

Was it my last embrace,
For now, it was,
But this dampening of my heart,
Speaks for my soul,
I wish to stay,
I wished to stay this time.......

Tanzila

Stories

Stories

I look at people,

I see stories,

reflections of differences,

of merry and pain..

I see the crowds,

in trams and subways,

see them walking,

on streets and lanes..

They are stories to me,

so many of them,

all living a part,

by similar means..

They share incidents,

some monotonous,

most unique,

with others’ stories..

You observe people,

in flesh and bones..

I feel stories,

with time and tales..

I see feelings,

i see happiness,

i see through eyes,

hearts and minds..

I see content,

desperation of being,

i see struggle,

for fate and love..

I see memories,

i see solitude..

I see each of you,

as a beautiful story..

As I am,

an unexplored story…!!!

Tanzila