Darkness

Darkness

the quiet darkness,
its prelude to peace,
the final answer,
questions to please,
merciless gestures,
of life and race,
secret emotions,
party and taste..
unwanted needs,
cure and sight,
hunger for love,
waiting to rest..

the final moment,
of merging in,
with calm n
silent whispers,
of creatures unworldly,
dissolved and secret..
is the final option,
is the only reason,
we stay here in fancy,
i return to simplicity,
as i arrived,
i return to darkness.......!!!!

Tanzila

My Last Embrace

My Last Embrace

And I left again, 
This time,
Unlike others, 
When this heart was easy,
And mind clear..

And I left,
To implore, to explore,
And create,
New beginnings,
newer thoughts
And meanings..

And I left,
To merge self,
To a world, different
Than my own,
Challenging and challenged..

And before I left,
I held you in my embrace,
I embraced your body
And you, my soul,
I clinged onto you,
So hard,
For that moment,
I realised
my heart wanted to stay,
Holding you tight
And not letting go..

Was it my last embrace,
For now, it was,
But this dampening of my heart,
Speaks for my soul,
I wish to stay,
I wished to stay this time.......

Tanzila

Stories

Stories

I look at people,

I see stories,

reflections of differences,

of merry and pain..

I see the crowds,

in trams and subways,

see them walking,

on streets and lanes..

They are stories to me,

so many of them,

all living a part,

by similar means..

They share incidents,

some monotonous,

most unique,

with others’ stories..

You observe people,

in flesh and bones..

I feel stories,

with time and tales..

I see feelings,

i see happiness,

i see through eyes,

hearts and minds..

I see content,

desperation of being,

i see struggle,

for fate and love..

I see memories,

i see solitude..

I see each of you,

as a beautiful story..

As I am,

an unexplored story…!!!

Tanzila

My Journey to Nothingness

My Journey to Nothingness

This unwanted disappearance,

Of appearance,

Neglect of self, soul and time,

Emotionless emotions and fate,

Taking you for a ride.

Each day a struggle ends

And what continues is need

To struggle more, to go ahead,

In this race of madness,

For power and peace.

This is all I am left with,

A hollow cube inside my heart,

Space deprived of ‘requirement’,

Your sense of no want.

Every morning I raise, I rise,

With this emotional stress

An understanding of delusional love,

Even then, I extend my hand

To hold what is not mine..

I wake up to sadness

I sleep with despair,

So restless,

Incomplete I am,

with my journey.

A journey with no destination,

That leads to,

desolation and pain,

It leads me to

Nothingness..

Its my Journey to Nothingness..!!

Tanzila

Smirk

Smirk With ur each tear, I smirk.. it rolls off the edge of my eye.. its a tear of peace.. its my tear of joy,  to see you where, I aimed you to be.... In a place as unforgiving  as my grave.. with a time escaping  as the last clock of my life.. I smirk to glory and smile at nature.. for what goes returns,  with its beautiful forms, of helpless attire.. I wear a gown of deception this time, I stand there..next to you,  to mimic death.. as proficiently, as u imitated life to me...... I smirk my dear, I smirk... Won’t you catch me this time…? You can't... You lost me when I lost the hope... You lost me with that fake promise of re-union... You lost me for times to be!!  What remains is my smirk... and what stays is still my tear..!!  Tanzila

Lullabies

Lullabies

limited, alienated 

from the norms

and types,

from the ways and means,

of the breed and creed,

to simple complex images,

to songs of war, love and peace,

to tales of cluster, memory and being,

from purity of a mother’s heart..

are the lullabies, my mother’s songs,

her voice echoes in my deeper souls,

reminding me of her timeless love,

assuring, reassuring moments of faith,

within my mother’s giving heart,

is her compassion 

and mystery…

of this world and the next…

I try to know, understand,

why selfless is her love,

how much she could endure,

how often would she tell,

stories, songs and moments,

of her life and mine.

That love, transpired through her,

every word and expression…

My life is owned by you Mother,

my mind by your lullabies,

this heart loves you mother,

beyond this world’s greed..

My every bit of existence,

is a sacrifice i do..

to see you smiling forever,

to give you happiness always,

like your lullabies gave me peace,

like you gave me life.

Tanzila

LOST

LOST

I want to go somewhere,

And never return.

Get lost on trail,

And never be found.

Been a while since I last wrote,

my tale of misery from the memory lane.

Is the present so vague,

Or the past so cruel,

The future has stories to unfold.

With every day a passing journey,

No stops, no-one to stop,

With every morning a new mystery,

Unreal than the previous time.

With every night the similar feeling,

This dampening of my heart,

With every thought a new regret,

Of old and older times.

What reflects me, what I reflect,

Is the voice of my soul,

It may not be a voice enough,

It is changing each day,

Dying slowly its death….

Tanzila