LOST

LOST

I want to go somewhere,

And never return.

Get lost on trail,

And never be found.

Been a while since I last wrote,

my tale of misery from the memory lane.

Is the present so vague,

Or the past so cruel,

The future has stories to unfold.

With every day a passing journey,

No stops, no-one to stop,

With every morning a new mystery,

Unreal than the previous time.

With every night the similar feeling,

This dampening of my heart,

With every thought a new regret,

Of old and older times.

What reflects me, what I reflect,

Is the voice of my soul,

It may not be a voice enough,

It is changing each day,

Dying slowly its death….

Tanzila

My Mother's beautiful eyes

My Mother's beautiful eyes

When I look into your eyes,

they tell me stories,of love and laughter..

I see myself as a child,

playing with my li'l doll,pink and colourful..

Wen u sit infront of me,

catching my complete gaze,

I love to look at the face,

which I call my own,

the first one I saw,

when I opened my eyes, from my deep slumber..

This face helped me grow,

all these years,into a person I am now...

I always wanted to be so pure at heart,as you are dear mother....

So tranquil is your smile...

But when I look at your hands,

worn out with the years of hardwork,

I see the roughness,saying,

nurturing me was a rough task...

I want to kiss your hands and rub them will clove oil,

make them smooth,and soft as they were,

when you first touched me, my beloved mother....

My heart throbs at this interface,

when I have to bid farewell to you, for sometime...

I see your smile again,

so heroic it is for you to suffer this distance...

I feel your pain, I see your heart..

I know,

Your mind wants me to stay this time,

I will return mother with a colourful morning,

And lay in your lap once again,

so that u kiss my cheeks and hug me tight,

keep me safe my mother....Keep me safe dear mother...

I love to look at your beautiful eyes,

they tell me stories of a lifetime.......!!!!!!

Tanzila

Amma_in remembrance of the person who was my beacon of Hope....!!!

Amma

Its been two years,

Two long years...


since you left us..


Its been a struggle ever since,


A battle to live each day,


With every emotion,


Connected and spared,


Reminding me, us of your love...

I recall your magical touch,


Your aroma in this holy air,


Your smooth hands brushing my hair..


Your eyes, so selfless and beautiful,


So transparent like your heart...


I could see beyond this world,


Through your vision, your thought...


Into reality of depth and relation.....

I miss those days when we would eat,


Together, you and I..


I remember the times, when i would serve,


I wish i could stop time.....


Bring you back Amma,


Bring you to me, to us, to our existence...


To guide us, with ur emotion...


To love us, everytime..

I grew up, through those hands,


They groomed me, worn out with time..


I matured, with your every word,


I learnt with all my lessons...


I crave for your smile now,


For that would make my world..


It would change my worries,


To opportunities of gold....

I feel proud Dear Amma,


I am known as your child,


I feel strong dear Mother,


I will live your dream...


Of my happiness and calm...


I submit to God my darling,


Who keeps you safe in his charm..


I pray for your soul, i pray for your peace........

Never abandon me Mother,

I would lose my way,


I want to shine though your glory and light...


I pray you stay with us forever,


Guiding, teaching,
forgiving….Each of our blunders........

Every tear in Sheena's eyes, testifies,


You left so soon mother, you left so soon.......

Sheena

Saddened Anger

i fear myself, 
my mind and thoughts,
i fear my anger, 
my impatience......

i trust you, i told you,
i agree but,
i would believe you always,
i did not say...

i respect you until..
the end of time...
i adore your sanity
not vanity..

i wish i could control my anger,
i hoped to have not been slayed,
i craved to have been understood,
i expected to be considered visible
and loud..
and mindful...
of truth, logic and quality....

i feel wretched for you,
for me..for us....
u hurt me today, i resent it,
this sense of regret will subside,
this despaired feeling will stay...
preying on my good old mind,
eating upon my flesh,
i hate to admit this but..
you have angered me over myself...

i felt tricked, abused and abashed,
not for the learning but unlearning the learnt,
i felt stupid for having waited so long...
i am angry, impatient and saddened.......

Tanzila

the paper cup story...

FOREVER

FOREVER

Is a false disposition,

An unwilling departure.

Low on momentum,

Least possible,

The term, this term ‘forever’…

It’s a myth,

Or hallucination,

A mind game to win,

Or take away,

It’s a tale of deceit,

A lie often told..

Forever is never ever,

Its limited,

Or limiting..

It ends, with the moment,

With people,

With time.

Fate restricts it,

Chance bullies it,

Time decides its limit,

Destiny the phase,

We the face.

Tanzila

The Cactus Plant

The Cactus Plant

When I think,

What it symbolizes,

I understand,

It’s too realistic,

like My existence..

Yes, a cactus plant,

Better than its flowering counter-parts..

Flowers show hope,

Who needs it, who wants it,

Flowers are deceptive,

Perceptive, Temporary..

They show an untimely progression

Of life to death..

They die soon, sooner than wanted,

expected...

I like cactus, its so magical

Original, real..

Its strong,

enduring,

I like it, for it re-inforces,

My eternal want...

Of Permanence....

Tanzila

The Mutiny of Silence

The Mutiny of Silence

in silence lies the outburst,
the passion to produce space,
with thoughts outpouring, damaged desires....
living life, lifelessness rebuked...

every insane unfolded story,
each basic question questioned...
the devil infecting the then optimist,
the angel betraying the last lost soul....

its a mutiny, 
against God's will...its a struggle,
against the devil..
its a choice you make within,
its your Silence....to muse at the world...!!!

Tales of unknown, silent special,
Beautiful histories, uncovered minds...
Patience is the new weapon....
to grow beyond control.....

Expire, inspire, imbibe, involve..
the Change to Silence is your new call..!!!

An Outcry of Impatience

Here I am,

Again, back from yet another,

Crisis.

I thought it was utopia,

It turned out to be unlike it.

I was confused to go ahead,

I waited for time to decide,

It happened with a blink.

Utopia, as they would say it,

I call it a slaughter house,

I chose it,

Over another,

Much finer confinement,

Now I am stuck with it,

My mind barely intact, 

my patience given way.

My skin was peeled,

It was painful,

It was slow, 

That was the only solace,

I cried to let go,

It clinged to pull back,

Then, the butchered soul,

Did flee across the tides..

I miss the house now,

It was better than this untrue paradise,

I recall this failure,

Yet again, the struggle,

Incomplete though,

Partly because I lost,

You won, and 

I Gave up……

Tanzila

Impulsion

Impulsion

These creepy clusters of a vicious laughter,

Merciless impulsion of my regular being,

This despaired emotion, intolerant gesture,

of lifeless existence, mourning regime....

The resurrected soul with utter confusion,

Unguarded by destiny, discarded by nature,

Defeated by memory of irrelevance,

To a lighter and subtle sunshine.

All vices unearthed, the virtues buried,

The graves of characters, fallen apart,

Imposing decree, dismissal of rest,

Infliction, addiction, surviving this test.

Brutal murders of souls and sight,

Raping one’s intellectual best,

Extension of the hands of rebel,

To freedom, relief from worldly creation

It’s a lie, a false disposition,

I live a dream, this impulsive plan,

This untrue happiness, questioned status,

Is my definition of a ‘revolution’………..

Scenes, stories ripped off humour,

Tenderness deprived of compassion and feel,

Revelation, revolution what it may be,

End of the world……..of the Great Gatsby…!!

Tanzila